Balance has eluded me most of my life. I’m an extremist. Not in the fanatical sense. But when it comes to making decisions as a wife, a mother or a friend I struggle to maintain the level headed logical determination that inevitably comes if I take a few days to think on it, pray on it and take the emotion out of the equation. So how does one find balance?
Physical limitations bring another element to finding balance. Dishes and laundry don’t wash themselves; kids can’t drive themselves to school, sporting or church events, and I meet myself coming and going as the weekend approaches. I crash into my bed and sleep for 12 hours while the rest of the family fends for themselves. Knowing that even after a day or two of sleep I will only feel half-rested before the process repeats itself with the next weekend around the corner.
The more repetitious my days are the better my body copes with its physical limitations. And by repetitious, I mean routine. My body does not recognize change. Even positive change has a negative impact on me, so most often I find myself only able to do the things I’m ‘supposed’ rather than the ‘fun’ stuff. So I write it all down. And the calendar fills. About the time I feel like the breath has been knocked out of me is when the Lord lets me know it’s time to say NO. At least to the things I can say no to.
Saying no has become my theme song in life. And after twelve years I’m starting to get used to it. And when I don’t say no when I should, the Lord says no for me. Most often by knocking my feet out from under me and forcing me to rest. So I try to make sure I have energy for the basics. Church, family and work are a given and there’s not always much left for anything else. I make a deliberate effort to participate in bunko every month so that I stay connected with my dearest friends of which I may or may not get to connect with at church. I make a concerted effort to call my Beebe Girls on a weekly basis so that I even if I don’t see them, I stay connected.
I very seldom am able to participate in the extra-curricular activities our church enjoys. For if I say yes to one thing, I’m saying no to something else. Not because I’m being anti-social, but because with what energy I have my family must come first. And although my fellow brothers and sisters may not literally understand my physical limitations, they understand my desire to put my family first and I know they wouldn’t have it any other way. So I challenge you this week to find some balance by saying no and gaining a little bit of control in a world of chaos.