Saturday, February 5, 2011

Mommy Guilt

Mommy guilt is inevitable when struggling with physical limitations.  It consumes me.  And the enemy uses it to take away any happiness motherhood would otherwise bring.  Doubts flood my mind and worry encompasses my entire being as I fear any repercussions my illness might cause.  And there are always repercussions.  It’s simply cause and effect.  Will my children’s spiritual lives suffer because I have not always been of sound mind in teaching what needs to be learned?  Will their social skills be inhibited because playgroups were only an occasional outing?  How can they be taught integrity and righteousness when I’m not physically able to be consistent in their upbringing?  And will their church attendance be sporadic when they reach adulthood because I failed in leading by example?
I don’t have the answers to any of these questions.  But God knows.  And He has a plan.  Of this I am certain.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know that plans I have for you,” declares the Lord.  “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  For years I’ve wondered why the Lord placed my spirit in such a weak body.  Even from birth I fought for life, only to be fighting for strength throughout the life I’ve been blessed.  But His will is accomplished even through my weakness, even because of it.  He’s used my weakness to keep me close to Him and to be an encouragement to others.  This has been proven to me time and again.
And so I have faith that in seeking Him first and foremost, putting His will before my own and responding to His Holy Nudges, through actions and prayers, that my children will come through this stronger and with a better understanding of God’s love.  The Lord has turned my mommy guilt into growing experiences for my children. 
My once four year old who made me lunch and took care of me is now maturing into a responsible eleven year old.  He’s used these instances to mold her into what He wants her to be.  But it’s not easy.  As parents we don’t want our children to suffer, especially due to our own inabilities.  But when I can see how my children are growing closer to God through my weaknesses, I wouldn’t want it any other way.  In what way is God using your weakness to accomplish His plans for you and yours?


  1. Nichole, I look forward to reading your blog & you always give me something to think about. You know even before I had a fall that gave me chronic pain I realize that I was not always the mom I should be. Pain or not, we all have room to be better moms, wives, friends, and children of the King. Thanks for your thoughts today. Debbie

  2. I love that you brought out how God's power is shown in our weaknesses. You are absolutely right, our children will learn to trust in Him by watching us lean on Him in our struggles. He has great plans for you and your girls. Love you, Girl! Keep sharing.

  3. In what way is God using your weakness to accomplish His plans for you and yours?

    I have lived a lot of my adult life struggling with acceptance and settling for relationships that were less than what I truly deserved in order to feel wanted. A huge weakness that ultimately left my daughter fatherless. I feel as I have grown and matured since her birth I am instilling in her a need and desire for a relationship with her heavenly Father above all. I have a better appreciation for what He desires for us within companionship and hopefully Madisyn will see this as well.

  4. Wow Stephanie! This is HUGE!! I am SO proud of you for recognizing this and allowing the Lord to mold you through your weakness. And Madisyn is one lucky lady :) She will come to appreciate you and will soon learn what a Godly mother she has! Love you girl!

  5. Manda~Thank you so much for your encouraging words. (And tell Ryan to get in gear and join this blog:)