One of my greatest struggles living with a chronic illness is the endeavor to have a positive attitude and keep a willing heart. A willing heart seems like such a natural part of motherhood. As mothers, we put everyone’s needs before our own and we do it joyfully. It’s part of being a mom. But what happens when we can no longer do that through no fault of our own? The joy exits the equation, the ‘mommy guilt’ sets in and Satan readies the trap.
He has many traps. Of this I am certain. His traps differ from person to person, depending on which is most effective for him. But these are the ones of which I am familiar.
Depression inevitably sets in when physical limitations are present. There’s no escaping it. It is all encompassing and a formidable enemy. Monotonous and mundane chores leave no sense of accomplishment. Loved ones demand physical and emotional attention that may never come. Friends hang in the background unaware and often unable to understand the depths of the suffering. Judgment claims the righteousness that seems miles away. And the one I am most familiar with...Manipulation of the heart.
Satan’s ultimate goal. To claim it and use it for his own purposes.
I gave in to the lies Satan laid on my heart. He twisted my thoughts to believe others were judging me. He kept my friends at a distance to prevent encouragement and help. He turned loved ones into burdens rather than blessings. Piles of stuff surrounded my house with no end in sight. And he forced me to believe there was no way out.
But the Lord rescued me from the snares of Satan.
But He said to me-My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
And so I hope you will join me on this journey of how I have come to have a willing heart through all of the weakness that has been brought upon me. May God be glorified and you be encouraged and forewarned if you should find yourself in my shoes.