Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A Willing Heart

One of my greatest struggles living with a chronic illness is the endeavor to have a positive attitude and keep a willing heart.  A willing heart seems like such a natural part of motherhood.  As mothers, we put everyone’s needs before our own and we do it joyfully.  It’s part of being a mom.  But what happens when we can no longer do that through no fault of our own?  The joy exits the equation, the ‘mommy guilt’ sets in and Satan readies the trap.
He has many traps.  Of this I am certain.  His traps differ from person to person, depending on which is most effective for him.  But these are the ones of which I am familiar.
Depression inevitably sets in when physical limitations are present.  There’s no escaping it.  It is all encompassing and a formidable enemy.  Monotonous and mundane chores leave no sense of accomplishment.  Loved ones demand physical and emotional attention that may never come.  Friends hang in the background unaware and often unable to understand the depths of the suffering.  Judgment claims the righteousness that seems miles away.  And the one I am most familiar with...Manipulation of the heart. 
Satan’s ultimate goal.  To claim it and use it for his own purposes. 
I gave in to the lies Satan laid on my heart.  He twisted my thoughts to believe others were judging me.  He kept my friends at a distance to prevent encouragement and help.  He turned loved ones into burdens rather than blessings.  Piles of stuff surrounded my house with no end in sight.  And he forced me to believe there was no way out.
But the Lord rescued me from the snares of Satan.
But He said to me-My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
And so I hope you will join me on this journey of how I have come to have a willing heart through all of the weakness that has been brought upon me.  May God be glorified and you be encouraged and forewarned if you should find yourself in my shoes.


  1. Nichole, this was an inspiration to read. You have always been an encouragement to me. You are amazing and God is working through you!

    Love you!!

  2. Nichole...I have thoroughly enjoyed your first post! Keep it up, keep your great positive attitude and that will help you a lot. Love and hugs, Debbie (West) Stephens

  3. Thanks for the encouragement girls! I'm hoping to do GrEaT things! Love you both!

  4. Excellent post. I don't have a chronic illness which I have to deal with on a daily basis but I still found a lot of encouragement in what you wrote. Keep it up. I believe God will use this to minister to a lot of people.

  5. Thank you for your kind words Lollie! I have found that most of the issues people face when dealing with a chronic illness are universal. Only the circumstances in which they occur differ. Glad you've been encouraged :)And I thank you for your support on this endeavor.

  6. Ah, yes, I always feel bad I can't be a helping hand. I can't help stack chairs and even bending to pick up a pen someone dropped can be very painful. The worse is when I have to ask someone older than me if I can have a turn sitting down. :-( Thanks for the encouragement.