Sunday, April 22, 2012

Deciding on Purpose

Living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Hashimoto’s Disease requires planning and decision making. I am not great at either one, but I have learned to let my "yes be yes" and my "no be no". Trying to juggle life as a wife, a mom and a writer requires many decisions. If I take my daughter to her softball games will I be able to get up for work the next day? If I choose to spend the day writing when will the dishes get done? If I attend game night on Saturday night will I be able to get up for church the following Sunday? If I spend a couple of hours deep cleaning the house on a Sunday afternoon will I have enough energy to go to small group?

What I have learned is that when I say "yes" to one thing I say "no" to something else. With each opportunity I ask what takes priority. What can wait? What cannot wait? Which is a need? Which is a want? And who will I say "no" to?

It’s not easy because I don’t want to tell anyone "no". But contemplating the possible outcomes brings me to the conclusions benefiting my family the most. Often I attend softball games once a week rather than the scheduled two days (my husband takes her the other day). The dishes are pushed to the back burner until I realize we have three clean forks for dinner and we need four. I have yet to make game night as church service takes priority. And I’ve come to the decision I need to pay someone to deep clean my house!

All of this is to say when you make choices in your schedule and your life, make them on purpose. Because when you decide on purpose, I have found there is less guilt attached to it. And as a mom who has suffered from “mommy guilt” in the past, any preemptive strike in this area is worth it.

So tell me, how do you balance life with your time and energy? What practical decision making techniques do you use? Do you always say yes? Or do you make decisions on purpose?


  1. What a great post! SO glad I read this. Yes, you definitely have to pick and choose what you can and cannot do and not second guess your already made decision. I make time to run but I try to make it work around my family's schedule- not the other way around.

    I have really been trying to keep up my daily Bible reading but this has meant cutting back on all my other books I would like to read- fiction and even some informative ones about fitness- specifically running. I just don't have time to read everything and I KNOW I NEED the scripture the most.

    I was having major mommy guilt yesterday. I really had to clean the house and I felt bad about just not sitting around playing with the kids. Do not feel bad about having someone come deep clean your house! When I had my injury last spring we had a college student come once a week for two months to help clean, do laundry, dishes- whatever. I don't know how we would have made it without her. Sometimes we need help- and that is OK!! :-)

  2. Thank you Tia! Making decisions on purpose takes the stress out of decision making. And as you said sticking with the decision made is important too. Knowing how much time it takes to run (especially the distance YOU run) you MUST make those decisions ahead of time. Otherwise you will find your personal goals cutting into your family time. But I know you do a GREAT job making running a family event, so kudos on taking a personal goal and turning it into a family event!

    I understand about juggling the books and bible reading. I am currently involved in two daily bible studies and that leaves little time for fiction and non-fiction reads. But I have found when I stick with my daily bible reads, everything else falls into place :)

    If you're a mom, mommy guilt is unavoidable. But I've found it's better if you own it and talk it out looking for ways to minimize it in the future. And your right, getting help is OK!